Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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