its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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