You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
