So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Drake has all the answers
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize