The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
