Sponge bath it is.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
