That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
