so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
