I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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