I'm jealous of your bromance
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
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is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
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The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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