Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
