Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
