So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
