The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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