I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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