I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So apparently I’m into choking now
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
