Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
