it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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