Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
