thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
