I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
