Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
