Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
