it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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