I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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