I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
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