yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
