I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
