I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
