we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
