i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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