I heard we made out
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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