There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
