Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize