he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
