I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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