You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
