anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
