I'd wear matching sweaters with you
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
