I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
