How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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