so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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