i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
