Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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