the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
