she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
When did angry sex become our thing?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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