I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
