another moral hangover. fuck.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize