Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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