I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Randomize
