a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
