If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
two words...techno handjob
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
