And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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