The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
