he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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