Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
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Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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