I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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