There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
