he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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