that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
