If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
