i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
