I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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