i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
