Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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