hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
