I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize